Saturday, August 22, 2009

The great gray funk

I don’t like to think of myself as moody, but sometimes I can’t get out of that funk that kills my creative energy. All I want to do is sleep, or blow kids up on TF2. It’s been a solid week this time. I still have no mental energy. I’m in a funk for sure. I think I need a change of scenery.

I know my job has something to do with it. I sit and think all day. My mind is focused on one tough nut after another. At times, it sucks me dry.  My job is not the reason. I like my job. It’s what I write about on my blog. I can only take so much. These people are horrible. There soul crushing acts of violence are too much for me at times. I cannot open my email for fear of reading about another childhood lost.

July was the worst month in my experience writing about clergy sexual abuse. I started to dream about the cases in early August. I could not get them off my mind. But what really pushed it over the edge was the hate mail. It has reached a new level of viciousness now that I’ve started to include Catholics and Mormons in my posts.

I will not stop, but I will take breaks instead. I’m back now, but still a little gun shy. While I’ve been gone, the clergy has been busy. I have some catching up to do.

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